I don’t know about you, but I am finding it really hard to concentrate with everything that is going on, or not going on, right now.
My partner is working from home and he likes to have noise around him because he is used to working in an open plan and sociable office environment. I however, am used to quiet and solitude. I’m upstairs on the desk in the spare room, and he’s downstairs having commandeered the dining table. He has bar far the best view and is on the sunny side of the house. I have a wall, a mirrored wardrobe door, and have to have a standard lamp on.
He has the radio playing and I have the door shut because it’s annoying me, and it’s still coming up through the floor.
But these distractions are nothing compared with the ones rattling inside my head; will I catch it? Will I die? Will my partner catch it? Will he die? What will happen to me if he dies? Who will look after the dog if we both die? What about my friends, my mum, my partners parents? What about my job? What about the two job interviews I had lined up? What about social unrest if this carries on? What is everyone going to do without money and access to essentials? What are we going to do, financially, if this carries on for too long?
How much will the world change? Will the change be for the better? Will we see less migration and less flying, will be see cleaner air now we got used to working at home (where we can)?
What about cycling, will we still be able to do that next week, next month? Some countries have already put in much stricter rules. What about the erosion of the legal process, civil liberties, etc?
All these thoughts, and many others, rounding my head time and time again. I am trying to keep my blogs going (I have two), and I’m trying desperately to get another chapter or two of my book written. It should be the perfect time for both, but can I concentrate, or is the stuff coming out of my head a product of reduced sleep, which is a product of worry and lack of exercise? Is it terrible? Is it even remotely readable?
What will happen when this is over? When will it be over?
Can’t he turn the that down? Does he need it that loud?
Where has the dog gone; is she downstairs, upstairs, or outside?
What’s left for lunch? Oh my god will we have to go out to the supermarket, that’s go to the dangerous.
Will I ever get my hospital appointment? Will I get my op? Will this pain stop?
Why do I find the music annoying, it’s only what I play when I want the radio on myself It’s the same station I have in my car, and it doesn’t bother me there.
I could go back to bed. No, that’s defeatist. And, if I do that again then I won’t sleep properly tonight, like I didn’t last night, because I had slept in the afternoon. Why do I feel so sleepy in the afternoons? I’m allowed to ride my bike, I like riding my bike, I’d feel better riding my bike, why don’t I want to ride to my bike? What am I scared of?
How did Sherlock pull off faking his own death in Series Two? Did someone kill themselves for him, and then switch the bodies, the other three scenarios don’t add up. Why am I even thinking about this? Ah, the box set. Is the world now watching copious box set binges, what will that do for our IQs?
Netflix must be raking it in.
Wow, the butchers delivery has come, fresh meat for the first time in a week. WOW. Steak pie for tea. I miss being a vegetation but I can’t digest it due to having had my colon removed. I don’t really like eating animals. It’s not very nice. Steak pie, I love steak pie, proper butchers made steak pie, with chips and gravy.
Shit, that was the last of the dark chocolate digestives, can you get dark chocolate digestives on Amazon? You can’t get a supermarket delivery for love nor money. I’m not risking catching Corona for the sake of a biscuit, I need to loose weight anyway. We all will after this, and for once I might not be the palest person in the room either.
Shut up head. For heavens sake, it’s only been just over a week for the official lockdown. Although I locked myself down two weeks before that, aside from essential travel.
I like this song…
Open the door, I can’t hear it properly. It’s stopped, oh, he’s on the phone. Typical.
Shall I do my accounts? That’s scary. No money in for several weeks. Should be payday Friday but will I get my SSP? Did I earn enough on the last two pay periods of my zero hours contract to qualify? What if I didn’t? Should I tell the doctor that in spite of his best intentions and my best interests I have to go back to work? But I could get Corona.
Oh stop it head. Stop rambling. Concentrate. Write your book, or your blog. Write, something, even if it’s drivel like this.